Back in 2010, the Royal Society of Chemistry offered a one-million-pound prize to anyone who could create a product that was chemical-free. It hasn’t been claimed yet, which is odd, because I see things advertised as chemical-free all the time. What’s up with that?
Yes, this is a photo of a chemical-free chemistry set.
Everything you can touch/eat/drink/breathe/wash your hair with/use as a fertiliser is made of chemicals. Matter is made of chemicals. If your shampoo bottle says it's not made of chemicals then it’s made of something intangible like love, or starlight, or unicorn fur, which is lovely but won’t do much in the way of personal hygiene.
“Chemical” has become some sort of code word for bad and scary and unnatural, and that makes me sad, because chemicals? Are AWESOME. Go get some table salt. Put it on some hot chips. Amazing. While you’re eating, remind yourself that table salt is just little crystals of NaCl, or sodium chloride. Individually, those elements are a toxic gas that can be used as a chemical weapon, and a metal so temperamental that it reacts violently with water. And yet, they can be combined to form something you can safely lick off your hand before a tequila shot. Science!
In 2008, people complained to the British Advertising Standards Authority that “chemical-free” was a nonsense term designed to strike fear in the hearts of people who maybe didn’t quite understand the word “chemical”. The ASA responded: "When there is a colloquial understanding of a word, we can take this into account when reaching our decision... we believe that most viewers are unlikely to be misled by the claim." That’s a bit charitable, though, considering how many times I've seen people reject food, cosmetics and even medicine out of fear of "all those nasty chemicals."
So, every week I’ll be featuring products I’ve found that are “chemical-free." Our inaugural winner is the Australian company Pure Earth (and I should really get in touch with them and ask if they’re aware they could be the lucky winner of a million pounds). Let’s hear from them:
“Pure Earth specialises in the best Australian chemical free products available and as the world subjects us to more and more of these chemical nasties, it is not surprising that we are rebelling against their growing intrusion into our lives as we learn more of the hidden dangers of their increased usage. Synthetic chemicals are everywhere and many of them are downright dangerous! Not only are they in the products we use on our skins and in our environment, but in our food and water supply yet more of these chemical additives are being investigated as possible carcinogens and many of them are already well documented as such!”
… Okay, then.
Pure Earth sells chemical-free home and personal care products, like shampoo and cleaning products. This is a bit confusing, since their shampoo contains ingredients such as water (a chemical!), sodium chloride (also a chemical!) and sodium olefin sulfonate (not a chemical! Just joking, it’s totally a chemical).
This is generally the point where one hears, “but we mean no dangerous chemicals!” (Yes, I used to work in the beauty industry.) In fact, Pure Earth has a whole page devoted to educating us about the dangers of regular shampoo ingredients. (Please don’t waste your time looking for a reference list; there isn’t one.) For instance, did you know that “Sodium Lauryl Sulphate (SLS) has been traditionally used as an engine degreaser and industrial garage floor cleaner?" This is an odd statement to make, since lots of common household substances are also used in industry - for example, vinegar (or to use its Evil Chemical Name, acetic acid) is also used in the production of glue and photographic film.
Every chemical comes with a Material Safety Data Sheet, or MSDS. For fun, here’s an excerpt from the MSDS of the sodium olefin sulfonate used in Pure Earth shampoo: “WARNING!! MAY CAUSE EYE IRRITATION. SKIN IRRITANT... In case of contact, immediately wash with plenty of soap and water for at least 5 minutes. Seek medical attention. Remove contaminated clothing and shoes. Clean contaminated clothing and shoes before re-use.” Sounds promising.
Now, of course we’re talking about concentrated, industrial quanitites, nothing like what you’d experience in handling shampoo. But this is the same cherry-picking of data that’s being used to justify not using a chemical like SLS that’s also found in floor cleaner. Do you know what else is found in floor cleaner? And highly concentrated acid, and chlorine bleach, and most likely a bunch of other things you wouldn’t want in your hair? C'mon, guess. Is it arsenic? Uranium? The tears of labrador puppies?
It's water. (So yes, technically, the tears of labrador puppies.) But of course! Big Pharma doesn't want us to know about the risks posed by H2O, because of the Powerful Water Lobby/the government/the Illuminati etc etc etc.
Obviously, this is nonsense. (And if you'd like to learn more about the dangers of water, this site is an entertaining resource.) There is nothing in Pure Earth's products that makes them "safer" for anyone without a specific sensitivity to regular shampoo ingredients such as SLS. And on the off-chance that you do have a skin sensitivity, that's a matter that belongs in the hands of a dermatologist, not a company that doesn't actually understand the meaning of the word "chemical".
If you see a product that's a contender for the ONE MILLION POUND PRIZE, shoot me an email at itonlyadds@gmail.com. Here's a handy bingo card for identifying potential winners:
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